be calm and resolve conflict

How to be “CALM” and resolve conflict

Use these simple steps to resolve conflicts calmly and effectively.

 

Conflict management in the workplace is not necessarily a bad thing if you handle it positively. When dealt with effectively, managing conflict can have positive outcomes – like increased understanding, stronger relationships and improved self-knowledge.

Each of us has a preferred way to deal with conflict and the “right” way to resolve it varies according to the situation. Use this 4-step C-A-L-M process to resolve conflict no matter what your style is.

Clarify the issue

Spend time to analyse the conflict from your own perspective and prepare how you will approach the conversation. Focus on the underlying interests, needs, and concerns.

Invite your workmate to have this conversation with you privately. Set out the principles for handling the conflict, stressing that the issue is best resolved through open discussion and communication, not finger-pointing nor avoidance.

Give your workmate the opportunity to express their viewpoint and acknowledge their perspective and feelings – whether you agree with them or not is unimportant. Your aim is to understand their motivation and goals and see how your actions may affect these.

2 Agree the problem

It is common to find that you have a contrasting perception of the issue due to your different interests and motivations. You need to understand what your workmate sees as the real issue, not what you assume it to be.
Look to understand the conflict in objective terms, focusing on facts and work issues. Leave personalities out of the discussion.
Only once you can identify and agree on the problem(s) that needs to be resolved are you then able to work on finding a mutually acceptable solution.

3 Listen actively

Use active listening skills to ensure you hear and understand your workmate’s position and perceptions. Restate, paraphrase and summarise what you hear to ensure you are on the same page. If you can’t reach common perceptions of the problem then at least get an understanding of what they see as the issue.

The words you use can have a big impact on how the conversation progresses. Take a thoughtful approach, provide specific examples of the impact of the conflict and skip generalised, broad statements.

4 Manage your way to resolution

By this stage, the conflict may be resolved with better understanding as a result of the above steps. A mutually satisfactory solution could even be obvious to you both.

If not, invite discussion by asking questions such as “I wonder if…?”, “Have you thought about…?” or “How might we…?”

Brainstorm possible solutions together. Keep an open mind to all ideas, including ones you never considered before. You both need to have a fair input into the process to arrive at the best solution.

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